The Missing Symptom

When you view the list of symptoms for peri-menopause and menopause there’s always one missing; loneliness. It hides behind you with weapon in hand and bludgeons you with full force until you are gasping for air and trying to fight your way out of the vacuum that has surrounded you.

It catches you unawares; you are surrounded by a gaggle of gossiping friends, you have a blanket of familial warmth swaddling you, but it’s still there, lingering in the corner of each room, waiting. Every noise is amplified, every thought is loud and shouty and critical. You pace through social media desperately trying to enter the party that is being played out on there but you don’t know how to get an invitation.

And then…your open hand closes around another and you find that yearned for connection; you breathe in the shared experiences, the comfort of compassion and the beast is banished. You hang onto the ribbon and you float together in collective support.

Loneliness is a beast that can envelop us all when we feel that we are going through something that no-one else understands. Please reach out to us at Hot and Moody and share your experiences with the collective warmth that is surrounding this venture. We are all in this together.

Comment (4)

  • Helen Kay| 26/04/2019

    What an insight. Spot on!! Just to add.. I watched myself disappear on so many occasions leaving me with a hollow loneliness. Too often the real me was being taken away without warning, by what I now know to be the menopause. Doctors told me it was depression. Seems to be the answer for everything.

    • Annette Kapur| 26/04/2019

      Thanks for your honesty Helen. It’s so enlightening to hear how many women have been suffering so intensely but have felt so alone in this suffering. If our podcast could just do one thing it would be to help those going through this to feel less alone. Annette

  • Lisa Mitchell| 26/04/2019

    This is so true! I feel that I’m losing a part of myself day by day right now, and that feels a very lonely place to be. People just don’t understand the severity of these symptoms unless they have been through it.
    Depression has been mentioned here too!

    • Annette Kapur| 01/05/2019

      Hi Lisa,

      So sorry to hear that you’re struggling. When you’re experiencing the worst of it, it can be such a lonely place to be. Have you managed to find any support or anything to alleviate the symptoms?


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