An Open Letter to Perry

Dear Perry,

We’ve been together now for about 2 years although I know we’re both a little fuzzy on the start date. I can’t say it’s been a blast; we both know the first few months had many ups and downs, some might say a Space Mountain of a start, slowly chugging up the tracks and then hurtling at full throttle into the black hole of unfamiliarity.

Several acquaintances and work colleagues weren’t sure I really was with you at the start but my close friends and family knew; they really knew. Why were you so cruel back then though? You delighted in taunting me on a daily basis, calling me names, whispering worries into my ear. You weren’t satisfied until my whole soul had crumbled; until I sought solace buried under blankets of darkness; until slumber was the only escape…but then you conquered the sandman too.

We battled, we fought but I was the one who always shrunk into the shadows in defeat. I became silent, confused, cloudy, foggy, paranoid, bereft, raging, spinning, spinning, spinning, until I yelled “STOP, just STOP!” And then…. I became honest; I became open; I sought help and accepted it; I accepted you.

In the calm following the tempest we tip-toed through the rubble and found our harmony. You led me to me; to a full understanding of me; to an acceptance of me and I led me to newness, to adventure, to self-compassion, to others who you had also dominated under your sorcery. And it was these others who embraced me, who I embraced; who demonstrated shared compassion, shared experience, shared battles; who resolved to banish the demons and to wave the banner of experience to others; to propagate the knowledge amongst the unknowing; to reduce the suffering of those to come.

I know you will be around for some time yet but now I accept you and I will allow you to come in.


Nettie x

There is a still a stigma with menopause and peri-menopause, causing women to hide and suffer rather than to share and embrace. Having a common community can be the solution to scattering the seeds of knowledge and information around this often debilitating phase of life in order to help ourselves and our future selves to create compassion, understanding and to ultimately change the shame to full acceptance.

Please join our Hot and Moody community and share with your friends and family to help to bring calm to the menopausal storm and remove all traces of stigma. We are in this shared experience together.

Comment (2)

  • ~kris| 06/06/2019

    Perfect letter! It sums up my journey as well although I wasn’t gradually introduced, mine was full on smacked up side the head in a vertigo inducing moment behind the wheel that left me wondering what on God’s green earth just happened. From then on, the rest is VERY MUCH as laid out in your letter.
    Thanks so very much for sharing! I’m shouting from the rooftops across the pond here to all my fellow friends & sisters that are going through this that they MUST follow your podcast.

    • Annette Kapur| 06/06/2019

      Thanks so much for your comment! It means so much when someone validates the experience that I’ve shared. That analogy of being smacked in the head is so powerful! So glad you’re getting something from the podcast. We just wanted women to stop feeling so alone in this so decided to welcome them into the conversation we have in our kitchens. Welcome to the Hot and Moody community and keep sharing. xx

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